party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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