bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
