when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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