Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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