hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
