So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
