Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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