Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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