Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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