Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sorry my hands just texted you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
