you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
