I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
