"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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