Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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