she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
