Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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