My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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