i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
