a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize