I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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