I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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