so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
