the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
