I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
