Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize