She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize