She's JV to your varsity
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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