Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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