I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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