You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
