He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
