I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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