i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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