Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
