honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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