im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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