Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you

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(404): View more from Georgia

You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

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(817): View more from Texas

He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a black eye again and dont know why again

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(801): View more from Utah

So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.

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