just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
