Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Let's get the cat blown out
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
