Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
