i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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