Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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