I just threw up on my dentist
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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