So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
