I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
