Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
