I never want to see another naked old woman again.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
A+ Viking dick
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
