I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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