Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize