I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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