I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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