btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
