so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
