I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
